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[ Open rp post + TFLN overflown]
This is open for anyone to reply. Do you have a specific setting or idea in mind you want to play out? An AU universe?
You got inspired by some lyrics, an image a quote...drop me a line with the suggestion or feel free to make your own thread starter.
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[After giving Rey a little bit of a heart attack at her place, both Fives know they need to talk. They're overdo for it really. However it is hard to have a conversation in the house when one or more of their siblings are interrupting them.
So it isn't surprising that they end up in the public library after hours. It's one of the familiar places that feels like a home away from home. Of course, the fact that it is not in ruins doesn't change the fact that it had been something of a home base during their days in the wasteland.
As they stand in the upper level wing of the empty building, Five glances over to the equations they wrote on the columns, when they had been drinking away their frustrations with Delores by their side. From the looks of it, they hadn't vanished even though they managed to change the timeline and the library hadn't painted over them yet.]
Hmm, I don't know if I find this comforting or not.
[ He says simply, reaching out to place a hand on one of the columns. ]
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It's proof that we were here for real. And that the cleaning methods here are questionable at best.
[ Standing next to his other self, Five expressions softens. It's just the two of them and it's absurd trying to pretend around each other. ]
It feels more like home than the Academy.
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I know and well our situation isn't exactly helping with that feeling.
[ He adds, its clear they are both feeling like outsiders even more so that there is two of them. He's already seen it in a singular look over at Rey's place. ]
We can't go getting jealous any time one of us spends time with one of our siblings. Jealousy won't take either of us any place good.
[ They both know this logically, but he feels it has to be said out loud for both their benefit. For better or worse, while this situation is going on, they are brothers too. ]
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The more we interact with our siblings, the different our experiences will get. We don't know how long it will last. [ Five starts pacing around, rubbing at his neck with a hand. ] The other Klaus went back to their timelines, that's what my most positive theory. The other is that they glitched out of existence.
[ Sure his other self can see why Five is concerned. Who can tell which one of them really belongs to this world? It can't surely be both, which means that somewhere, sometimes, one of them is missing from that specific time-line and his family might be doomed. ]
If our siblings get used to having both of us around, what will they do once one of us eventually disappears? Vanya, Rey...losing us a second time, the won't handle it well. But we can't do nothing about it because we don't even knwo what caused it. It's frustrating.
[ And it's scary too, something he won't admit out loud even to himself. He doesn't need to. ]
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I'm aware, how do you think I've been feeling anytime I am reminded of Disney World? You know that trip that I decidedly didn't take with our family? I literally thought I was losing my mind. That maybe the missing memories meant that I was actually fading after all...
[He inhales as he stops the rant. But it is pretty obvious that he already thought that the missing memories meant he was being erased. He's scared too. This is uncharted territory for both of them.]
So I get it, okay? I know they won't take it well if one of us vanish, but we can't pull away from them either. That just hurts them right now.
[ Obviously even together they don't have all the answers. He sighs, before glancing over to himself. ]
I'm tired, Five.
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He makes a face at the mention of Disney world. If he were in the other man's shoes and everyone reminded him of something that never happened to him, Five would also start going nuts. Or rather, he would start to worry about going nuts further. He doesn't need more hallucinations or not being able to tell reality from a bad dream. ]
I thought that finally coming back to our family would make it easier but the problems keep piling up.
[ Comfort is a tricky thing for them. Touches in the past had only meant bad things: someone trying to fight him off, an enemy aiming to kill him, the Handler's annoying and deliberately ignoring his personal space...But not having an easy time with touch doesn't mind that they don't crave it, That they don't need it. Almost without realizing it, Five moves closer to his other self, if not to touch him, to offer the comfort of a nearby presence. ]
I know you are. It's been some really long weeks. [ Five huffs at his own words, that's an understatement. He also tries to smile a little but it never really reaches his eyes. ] Maybe we really need some proper sleep.
[ When was the last time they had a break? A full night of rest? God, he can't even remember. ]
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[ There's such a mirthless humor in his eyes as he speaks. He knows they have been holding on to the dream of going back in time and saving their family and now that they have seemingly succeeded the floor is threatening to fall out from beneath them again. It's a hard pill to swallow.
The sad part here is that they would never really voice these worries to anybody else. It isn't lost on him even as his other self moves closer to him. He doesn't try to retreat from the gesture, seeing it for what it was, an attempt to offer some sort of comfort.]
I'm beginning to wonder how we are managing to function at this point. [ He snorts, though the amusement never really touches his eyes either. God, they are so fucked up and they both know it. ]
Oh we definitely do, but really when have we ever been able to sleep properly? Not since we were actually the age that we look like right now.
[ Sleep without all the nightmares haunting his dreams would be fabulous, but he's not sure that will ever happen for either of them. Without even realizing it, he leans his shoulder against his counterpart's shoulder. Just a reminder that they both exist and the conversation they are having isn't just another hallucination. ]
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[ They paid for it and they managed to make it back to their family. They stopped the end of the world. And yet, somehow, that didn't fix everything. It only made it more blatant that they don't know how to function in normal society because nothing, ever, in their lives has been remotely normal. But they have each other, like they always did, and maybe that's enough tonight. Five relaxes marginally when his other self stays close. ]
Spite, mostly. And loads of coffee. [ Five doesn't know how to be idle, he knows how to survive, he doesn't know what simply living is like. It gets suffocating sometimes as if his lungs are still getting filled with the ashes of a burned world. Days like these are bad, the nights are even worse because as the other had said, their mind plays trick and brings up demons instead of a restful sleep. He considers making a joke about getting blackout drunk and passing out but they will only feel more miserable in the morning. Not to mention that the library staff will be pissed off again.
The shoulder brush is not unwelcome which is both surprising and not. He can't exactly tell what prompts him to curl an arm around his other self's and tug him down so they're sitting, back resting against one of the library's columns and leaning into each other, but that's what Five does. Maybe it's self-pity, maybe it's self-love. ]
They're alive, though. They're alive to keep doing stupid things, to go to Disney world, to drink our coffee or to date superheroes. We did that right at least.
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[ Honestly even if they hadn't jumped when they did, he couldn't see them not doing something equally brash later. It was like they had told Hazel, if they had stayed in their proper time, they probably would have ended up emotionally stunted man-children like many of their siblings.
He lets out a small laugh. Fuck, Hazel was right. It looked like they did need to grow up, since integrating back into having a life was an uphill battle on their best days.]
Well we've always been too stubborn to do anything less. [Stubbornness and the dream of saving their family had kept them going in an impossible situation. A thirteen year old, teaching himself how to survive in the worse possible conditions was a goddamn miracle.
For a second he is caught off guard when his other self wraps an arm around him, but he's far too tired to pull away. Instead allowing himself to be pulled down to a sitting position on the floor. Gods, they really were starved for human interaction, but the irony here was that they probably would fight against anyone else trying to offer either of them comfort. He finds himself chuckling again at what his other self is saying, but there is a warmth behind it. They did get something right at least.]
Christ, I did not expect that last one. Our girl really did aim high.
[ He can't help but crack a joke, just something is needed to break the tension that has been building since they started this conversation. ]
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He really was. He even had the gall to keep that awful painting of us hung in the living room. I bet it wasn't to honor our memory but to remind the others to stay in line.
[ Reginald wasn't winning any father of the decade awards, that for sure. But he was gone and they weren't, now his siblings and Five had to learn how to live their own lives without the shadow of their father over them. It was going so-so. ]
Stubbornness also got us back here. So...go, us? [ Also insane amounts of work, desperation, and spilled blood. But those are the things Five doesn't want to think about, nor is he going to remind his other-self. They both already feel worn out, no point in kicking themselves in the teeth. It's obvious enough that they're exhausted in the way the other Five just gives in and sits with him, both boys leaning against each other. ]
Yes, that...that sure is something. [ Five concedes, letting out a huff, the corner of his lips upturning despite himself. Their family had gone through a lot of weird situations, too many to count, and they're used to expect the unexpected. And Yet... ] Rey landing herself Mr. Four of July as a boyfriend took me by surprise, no lie. Klaus is going to go mental once he finds out. I can't wait to witness it.
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No doubt, just as much of a reminder as Ben's statue in the courtyard had been.
[ He can't help but sigh at that. It took traveling to the past to get anything actually useful out of the old man, but even that had came at a price. At least all their siblings were now on the same page about their father being an asshole. He would count that as a victory too.]
Yeah, among other things. [ He says with a shrug, more than willing not to elaborate because he does remember that more than stubbornness got them to where they are, by all rights they should be dead by now. But they kept on surviving. Though sooner or later, they really were going to have to learn how to live too.
Even as he lets out another laugh, he lets his guard down further to lean his head against his other self, allowing their temples to touch.]
If we thought Rey looked flustered while introducing the Captain to us. I really can't wait to see how she'll look when he meets the others. No way is this staying a secret in this family for long.
[And if he happened to let it slip who their sister was dating, oh well. He hadn't been sworn to secrecy, just made to promise to be nice to Steve.]
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[ He wasn't there to see how the post-mission or Ben's funeral went but knowing their father, he probably offered no comfort. Reginald was allergic to anything resembling positive emotions or compassion. What Five read about it on Vanya's book gave him some insight but it couldn't compare to the real thing.
He gives a noncommittal sound as a reply to that 'other things', acknowledging and silently agreeing to not elaborate. They're giving it a try, talking more to their siblings, going with them to crowded places...it's not fully comfortable or easy and Five isn't sure if it will ever be, but at least they're trying. His head tilts against the other, enjoying the soothing touch. This isn't entirely terrible. Quite nice, actually, even if the comfort comes from himself. This time he's really smiling and it's noticeable in his tone of voice. ]
No, that will be impossible. Knowing Diego, maybe he also has another hard case of Hero worship because 'It's Captain Fucking America, guys'. [ Five made an attempt of imitating Diego's way of speaking for that last line and he didn't sound all that far off.
It will probably good in the long run if the rest of the family knows, lest something happens. Steve might not be dangerous to Rey in the 'an assassin is after me' way but there still could be a heartbreak. And now that they are thinking about the family, Five has some more thoughts to share. ]
They've all grown so much and none at all. Their power are stronger too but like our own, I don't' think they can control them fully. We should help each other to figure them out. Maybe that way the idiots will stop getting killed.
[ The last part makes his voice breaks a little because Five has seen them die one too many times and it's taking a toll on him. He presses himself against his 'twin''s side, sighing. ]
D= I swear you are trying to break me with feels here!
God yes, I'm tired of seeing the damn thing every time we walk into that room. Though Ben's statue might be a little harder to get rid of without everyone hearing us.
[ There's a part of him that thinks maybe they should ask Ben if he wants to help get rid of it. It can't exactly be a great reminder of everything he went through after all. All the morbid reminders that still haunted the Hargreeves home really needed to go. Especially if they were all going to move on with their lives and try and actually be a family again.
As his other self, continue leaning into him, Five lets his eyes close for a moment. It's a rarity to let himself relax even a little, especially without the aid of alcohol. However being with his other self is more soothing than he could have thought it would be. While they both have been trying more with their siblings, especially their sisters. But it is still hard not to hold back with them. However he finds himself chuckling again when the other does an almost spot on impersonation of Diego.]
Okay that is a little too easy to picture. Given his obsession with saving JFK, I can't imagine that he doesn't have a man crush on Captain America.
[ Though as his counterpart continues, his mood slowly sobers again as he can sense where this line of thought is going already. His breath involuntarily shudders and his eyes widen at the memory he had been avoiding, the one of their siblings dying their third death in that barn in Dallas. As he feels the other press against his side, he suddenly wraps his arm around his other self and embraces him. ]
I can't keep watching them die either.
[ He whispers, his own voice on the verge of breaking. That last time had been far too close, they had only just barely enough life in them to save everyone. They really couldn't afford any more close calls like that again. ]
N..no, what gave you that idea? >_>
There's no need to be sneaky about it, the others must hate the statue even more than we do.
[ And since they managed to bring back Ben, there are even fewer reasons to keep that bloody thing around. In fact, getting rid of it could be cathartic for all the family, they will have to bring it up to them once they get back.
It's dark in the library now that it's closed and the sun outside it's gone. Usually, darkness isn't something that will help Five rest but he's feeling the sleepless nights catching up on him and tiredness makes it easy to stay still. He doesn't comment on the other closing his eyes, it's hard to keep his own open even as they talk. ]
Now Rey will have another extra worry. To make sure Diego doesn't try to steal her new boyfriend.
[ It would be funny to see their interactions, though. Five cant' wait for the rest of their siblings to know what is going on with Rey's boyfriend. But even if the man is Captain America, if things go well between him and Rey that means they will, by extension, feel obliged to also look after the captain. Because, of course, what their family needs it's a super-soldier man that also gets in trouble more often than not. Thinking of it, it's no wonder Rey likes him, it fits right between the rest of their family.
He's started to get lost in thought, pondering how many added worries they will now have to deal with when the feeling of an arm around him takes Five out of his head. He goes really still for a second before realizing what is happening and relaxing again, practically boneless. Oh.. ]
Me neither. [ After a pause, he returns the gesture, giving his other self's waist a squeeze. It's okay, they got this. They can keep it together. Right? They managed for decades. It shouldn't be too hard. Except it is and Five's free hand is shaking a little. ]We can't keep doing this. We should...maybe we should tell them, Make them understand.
don't mind me, just drowning in feelings over here!
[His is tired, they both are, so he can't fault his other self for taking his statement the other way. They are usually secretive about everything, so it makes sense to assume that was what he meant. Besides in their current position, they couldn't exactly look at each other's expressions to really read each other like they had done earlier in Rey's apartment. ]
Heh, well if Diego went gay for anyone, Captain America isn't a bad choice. Speaking of which, I really get the sense that he could see through the twins lie that Rey fed him.
[ He slightly grimaces because they barely understood what was going on and they were in the thick of it, trying to explain something like this to someone with absolutely no reference points was really going to make them sound insane. More so than they already did at times.
He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to well the burning sensation away, but really it isn't working. His grip on the other Five tightens, even as he remains silent for a long moment, not trusting his voice any longer. Finally he inhales shakily, trying to keep the tremble out of voice and failing. ]
Yeah, but getting them all to listen at the same time...it's such a struggle. [The Hargreeves are shit at listening as a group, but he knows he doesn't have it in him to tell them all individually what happened in that barn in Dallas. Every time he remembers how close they were to the actual end, he just feels sick to his stomach and wants to retreat further into himself. ]
If I have to see them die one more time, I'm going to really lose it.
[ He just knows, what little is left of their precious sanity is going to completely shatter beyond repair.]
Oh god, it's raining on my face too
[ It's a worry for later, is what Five's trying to say. One that they can fix without hurry, without drawing a weapon, without spilling blood. A worry that can wait, and those are far too few. Rey's new boyfriend, now that they can be more or less sure that it won't turn out to be a psychopath, is also not something to worry about so much. ]
I'd have doubted his common sense if he didn't suspect that something is amiss. We can talk to him one day, in private without Rey, and clear things up with him. I have the feeling he will understand the oddities of time travel.
[ Like them, Steve was a man out of time, finding his place in a strange world. If anybody has the heart to find their situation sympathetic, that's Captain America. And yes, they would sound insane but they're the Umbrella Academy, 'insane' had been part of their shtick since it's creation and Rey mentioned that Steve had heard of them already.
Five is quiet for a few moments after that, feeling the tension around them, no doubt caused by their own admission that things aren't as well as they pretend. They had never been, not since they were thirteen, and probably not even before that. It's easier to admit when it's just the two of them. When the insistent voice of his father int eh back of their mind saying that emotions are a weakness is drowned by the comfort of having someone who fully understands what they had gone through.
It's the shaky inhale that prompts Five to turn his body and hug his other self properly. His own eyes feel watery at the corners ad he doesn't know what to say about his other self's last words because he's on the same boat. They reached their breaking point and then moved past it, ignoring the cracks and now it feels like one more hit will be enough to make them crumble. ]
the assault of feelings continues....
I suppose his case is as close as it can get to ours. Though he was frozen for 67 years, rather than trapped in an apocalyptic wasteland in the future.
[ He points out, but he does agree that if anyone could understand or even empathize with their situation, it is likely Steve Rogers. Though it honestly would be a nice change of pace to have someone understand rather than just automatically question their sanity which has been the case so many times before.
As they sit in silence and he struggles to keep the cracks from turning into chasms over the memories of seeing their siblings die over and over and over again on them. The harder he fights to keep his tears at bay, the more his eyes sting and burn. Though once his other self turns toward him to fully embrace him, he can't help but lose what is left of his resolve.
The remainder of his facade breaking away as he chokes out a sob and buries his face against the other's shoulder. He just can't hold it in any longer as he wraps both his arms around his counterpart and hugs him tightly, practically clinging. 58 years old and deep, deep down, he still feels like that lost thirteen year old boy.]
eVeRyThInG iS fInE...sob
[ Five's curious, it's in his nature, so he wants to know the details. The world is lucky that Steve Rogers is on the side of the Angels because if the Commission grabbed hold of him or he just decided that Humanity wasn't worth it, they would all be screwed.
It's another thought that makes something cold and unpleasant settle in his stomach. The reminder that, as it happened to them, making someone cause harm only takes a hard push in the wrong direction. And then people keep dying no matter how hard you try to amke things right. The shaking of Five's hand has spread to the rest of his body but he holds onto his other self's tight when he heard the sobs. He's not doing any better, only managing to be slightly quieter in his crying but feeling cold all over as tears run down his all too warm cheeks. When was the last time they let it all out since they first time traveled? Did they ever do that? Maybe this is a breakdown
He doesn't know for how long they cling to each other, the shadows around them get darker as they hug, but at some point, Five starts to draw small, comforting circles on the other's back. He remembers vaguely that Grace used to do that when they were very little and got sick, and while it might not take the pain away, it did help. After one last shaky breath, Five pulls away slightly to give his twin a tired smile, his fringe a mess. God, they really needed that. ]
Better...?
clearly they need more hugs!
[ He only really knows this much because he had read some of the articles in the morning papers that were gushing about Steve Rogers and he had a mind to read a little further after just for the sake of curiosity. He hadn't expected that he would run into the man himself, let alone find out he was the one his sister was seeing.
Really it had been a long time coming. There was only so long a person could bury their emotions before they finally found a way to surface again. It just took seeing their family die two more times in the span of a few weeks to open this particular floodgate. So in spite of himself, the tears don't seem to want to stop.
It really isn't lost on him that he is essentially being comforted by himself, but maybe this is what they both needed? Because they certainly wouldn't let themselves be this raw with any of their siblings if they could help it. Slowly as he feels the sobs beginning to subside, he also feels his twin lightly rubbing his back. It strikes him again just how starved they really are for touch, but again it is hard to let others close enough.
As the other pulls back, he lets his own grip slack, so that they can see each other. He looks just as much of a mess as his twin, but he manages a watery smile and small nod at his question.]
Yeah...
[ Instinctively he sits back a little more to wipe at his face with the sleeve of his jacket. He's still exhausted, more so now, but he really did just need the release and from the looks of it, so did his counterpart. His voice is still shaky when he speaks again.]
Should we...head back to the house?
From the rest of their siblings too, yup
For the longest time, all Five had had was himself. There was Dolores, of course, but she wasn't exactly fitted to provide comforting hugs. So he accepts pretty quickly that yes, he's being comforted by himself and yes, it should be weirder than it feels. And NO, he doesn't even care at this point. No one else is around to see, and if they were, he will tell them to fuck off anyway.
His smile turns a little bit more genuine after the other Five replies and shifts his posture. They still stay close to one another and Five isn't inclined to move. He had forgotten how tiring crying really is, how it leaves you at peace but completely unable to do much more than wish for a flat surface to lie on. The floor of the Library isn't a good choice for that. ]
That would be a good idea. I think...I think we're tired enough to sleep. [ It doesn't mean they have to move immediately. They really look like a mess now and Five waits until their breathing is less labored and their cheeks dry to offers his arm for the jump back home. Exhausted as they are, it's safer if they move together. ] Ready?
the siblings got to find them first!
He had no clue, if this would mean that it be a little easier to approach their siblings later. It seemed like it would probably go better for them, having the additional support of themselves to finally tell their siblings what happened in that barn in Dallas. Or maybe it would lead to yet another breakdown on their part, especially if their siblings didn't listen to them.
He found himself slightly huffing at his twin's reply.] Heh, I probably couldn't stay awake even if I wanted too.
[ He candidly admits, only because he is talking to his counterpart. The exhaustion he feels, runs down to his bones. If the library floor were more comfortable, he would likely already be passed out. He's content to sit a bit longer as they slowly compose themselves, this is probably the most emotional either has allowed themselves to be in ages. So it has felt extra draining in a way, but not necessarily a bad way.
At the other's question he simply nods as he moves to grip his arm, innately aware of what he wishes them to do. Using the last of their energy together for a jump back to the house makes perfect sense as individually they would either botch the jump and not be able to do it all.
Once they blink back to the house landing themselves in the living room of all places, Five moves to drop himself down on the couch, because there is no way he making it to the room just yet. The other night after he got back from Rey's he had stayed up most of the night in the library, unsure of what they should do about the room situation.]
What do you want to do about the room? If you want to keep it, I can take one of the guest rooms.
[Yeah they could share the room, but maybe it would be less confusing for the others, if they tried having two different places in the house? ]
I'm sure something can be arranged
Yeah, it's been a day...[ What else can be said, really? They can talk to each other, that's more than they had for decades, and it's really been a long day. By the time they teleport home, Five can't even be bothered that it's the living room. He's just happy they had enough power between the two of them to make it to the Academy safely. He drags his sorry ass to the touch too, shoulder once again brushing his other self. His answer is a halfhearted shrug but his voice is honest. ]
It's your room as much as mine. [ And like them, the room seems to be stuck in time. The walls are now covered in equations but aside from that, their old books, clothes, and the few toys they were allowed to have are still there. Five doubts it was due to Reginald displaying any kind of sentimentalism, it was probably Grace who keep it that way. Clean and ready, waiting for him to come back. it's another reminder of what they lost and he hates it a little. Five also wonder if this is how Steve must feel when he goes to see the Captain America Exhibit located in the Smithsonian. ]
Maybe we should find a new room. Or two, next to each other. [ There's a pause as Five contemplates how taxing it would be to do that now. ] Tomorrow.
[ Five stretches and yawns, covering his face with a hand because unlike some of his brothers, he still has manners. Said manners doesn't stop him from kicking off his shoes and bringing his legs up on the couch as he rests his head against his twin's shoulder. ]
Oh my heart, these two are too precious right now <3
I know, but clearly you've been in this timeline longer than I have, old man. So I was giving my elder the choice.
[ While his tone remains tired, there's warmth in it, making it clear that he is joking. Even as he lightly nudges his shoulder against his twin's shoulder. Maybe it is the sleep deprivation, but he feels a sudden burst of warmth in his chest at his counterpart's suggestion of finding a new room or two rooms next to each other. They spent so much time in survival mode, being wary of everything around them, that trust didn't come easy to them anymore. It makes him fully realize that the show of trust that has happened between them is a rare commodity. He actually feels touched that his twin is considering his feelings, despite them being technically the same person.]
Mm, that's not a bad idea. [ He replies in a soft voice, a definite sleepiness to his tone. But he sounds content and that's what counts. He lets his head lean back against the couch cushions as his eyes close again. He feels Five stretch beside him, while yawning and lightly chuckles as he realizes they probably aren't going to a bed any time soon. He slightly startles at the sound of Five's shoes clattering against the floor, but his expression quickly softens as his twin lies his head against his shoulder. Lightly he rests his cheek atop his twin's hair, letting his eyes close again. He's far too tired to give a damn about his own shoes or even trying to readjust his position on the couch. It's fine. He's slept in worse positions, but at least this time, he's not alone.]
Goodnight, Five.
Babies ;W; ...old babies but still
We're just as relevant. But I might pull the elder card on the others. Not like that ever gotten them to listen or behave.
[ Maybe because the One Time Five tried to argue the point saying he was the oldest one ever, he was in the middle of a mental breakdown, screaming at Luther at the top of his lungs in a crowded street in Dallas. That might have affected the results of his strategy. The devil really is in the little details, uh?
Age issues aside, he truly believes that the other Five has the same right to be here as he does, that they're both entitled to the room and by extension the whole house. Finding suitable rooms for each other that are still close -maybe two with a connecting door?- will both give her privacy if they needed and the knowledge that the other was only a few steps away if they needed to see each other.
The comfortable tone of voice of the other boy confirms to Five that they think the same way about each other. It's good to have someone to rely on and talk with, even if it's a time-displaced version of yourself. Five hadn't trusted him the first time it happened but it's amazing how fast things can change. ]
We can...ah, look for the right ones tomorrow. [ There was another, small yawn, and then Five smiles when he feels his other self rest his cheek on the top of his hair. It's nice and warm and quiet. The closest thing to perfect they're experienced in a while. ] G'night, Five.